A couple of weeks back I was nominated by Katy at The Lilac Scrapbook to take part in this little campaign.
As the start of a new year everyone is about making personal change.
Now I realise we are almost a month in to 2015 but I was all scheduled up for January (check me out getting blog organised), but I still think this is pertinent.
The 'Take Back What's Yours' campaign is about motivating people; you, me, bloggers, writers, everyone, to take back an aspect of their life that they've lost. It can be happiness, confidence, positivity, anything that you've lost that you want back about yourself.
For me, I want to take back my drive for success and my love for life after my miscarriage in 2014.
Ask me at 18, or 21, what I wanted to do, and I would have given you a list as long as your arm of the things I was going to achieve, in order, around my career, love life, travelling, extra-curricular, and education... well you get the drift.
But in the last couple of years, I've kind of plodded along. I got my degree, giant tick in the box. I got a proper job, big tick in the box. I got a cat, tick in the box (twice). I travelled, tick in the box. I got married, great big tick in the box.
But I wasn't doing what I loved. Yeah I paid my bills, and could save to get married and go on my honeymoon without borrowing money, and get tattoos; but I wasn't satisfied.
To be honest, I've always thought of myself as a career girl, but after getting married and meeting my god-daughter, I wanted to start a family and I dropped the ball on my career.
After a few months of trying, I found out I was pregnant. I was over the moon, if a little overwhelmed. And then the unimaginable happened. I had a miscarriage at nine weeks. I was totally devastated and heartbroken. My husband equally so. Honestly I've never known heartache like it, for something that I really never thought would affect me. There is always the risk, and one in five pregnancies end in miscarriage in the first 12 weeks, so its not uncommon, but no less upsetting or easy to deal with.
I spent the following six months, or so, struggling to find myself, and its half the reason I created this here blog. I plodded along, because I had no idea what to do with myself.
It was then that I realised, I wasn't happy with myself. I needed to be happy with myself before I could bring a baby into the world, because one of the most important things I want to teach my children is to love life and have passion and drive in everything that you do.
So that's what I'm taking back... my drive and passion to have the best possible life, so that I can set an example for my children one day
I have a new focus, and although I will always be a little bit sad about my miscarriage, its reinvigorated my life, given me a different purpose, and I've had so any opportunities to be thankful for.
This post is probably one of the hardest I'll ever write (I've written different variations about four times without publishing), but after reading some inspiring and difficult posts from Becky, Cat and Claire (and some super kind and motivating words from Claire) I decided that it was time to share my story. I'll forever be thankful to my husband for always having my back and getting me through the tears, heartache and pain, and my best friend for listening to me cry for months and always being there for me. If this post can help anyone, just one person, take solace, or help them with the pain, then it is worth it.
This campaign is something that I think everyone should take part in, to help them achieve their goals.
I'm not going to nominate anyone specifically, but I do urge you to take part if there's something that you to take back in your life!
If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to email me at illustratedteacup@gmail.com
