Surviving month one with a baby and a toddler

A whole month of being parents of two little boys. And it's gone by so so fast. Especially those first two weeks! I know it's a total cliche but kids really do make the days and weeks fly past, and it's a bit of a catch 22. I'm so looking forward to seeing the boys interact together and develop their personalities with each other, but also it's very scary seeing the weeks race by!

So, how have we been coping for the last month?
It sure is a transition going from one to two. And I think one of the biggest challenges is managing the first born, particularly if they're quite excitable. I also think the sleep deprivation plays a big role in the change to your home. We have good days and bad days, but I guess that's parenting for you.

How we tackled our fussy eater toddler

Being the owner of a fussy eater can be pretty stressful

Henry isn't the worst eater, I know he eats EVERYTHING at nursery, and is pretty good for Breakfast and Dinner, but all things in between can be really hit and miss, and that does include dinner times too. We have some great days, and some not so great days, and some days where I really question whether he's actually going to gain anything from the food he's eaten at all?

Most of the problem with a fussy eater is the guilt for the parents. Are they getting enough vitamins and nutrients. Is it going to affect their bodies and their mind.
All you want is the best for them, but reasoning with a toddler is like trying to get blood out of a stone. And if your toddler is as strong willed as mine, then you really aren't going to change their mind once it's made up. It's both a great thing, and highly frustrating.

As a disclaimer, Henry was Baby Led Weaned at six months (he showed literally zero interest in food prior to six months), and has always been a bit of a mixed bag when it comes to food. Like me, he seems to be more of a grazer, than wanting big meals, but he has pretty much always been a great eater when it comes to nursery.

However, we are seeing some improvements at home, so I thought I'd share where we're at.

Getting out and about with two littles with Buggy Board

Review post*
Getting out and about with two kids that are both under three, and to be frank, almost under two (Henry's second birthday was two and a half weeks ahead of Dexter's birth) can be a bit of a struggle.

Henry is a pretty strong willed character and mightily independent which I adore, but can also be a bit tricky to navigate. And with most toddlers, sometimes there is just no reasoning with them! And to be honest, I feel like I parent a whole lot better when we're outside and exploring.

So we needed some travel options for our now family of four - and enter the Lascal MAXI Buggy Board*

How our playroom is organised to stay as tidy as possible

I know that we're pretty lucky to even have a playroom.
And to be honest it wasn't in the initial plan for our home until Henry arrived. In fact our playroom started life upstairs in what is now Henry's bedroom (you can read my first playroom post here, and how it's been transformed into Henry's room here) and moved to our conservatory late last year.

Being able to have a playroom means we can keep some of the toddler mess in one manageable space, and create more adult space in other rooms. Our living room does still get completely trashed with toys, but in stages, and in the evenings, we can tidy everything away into the playroom and our space is child-free. It's a nice feeling.

Our home water birth experience with Dexter

If you'd asked me six months ago what my birth plan was for our second baby, all I could commit to was a water birth, most likely at our local midwife led unit.

However at 34 ish weeks we made the decision to go for a home birth. And this post is probably one of the happiest posts I've written as I got pretty much the perfect birth story, at home, and with that water birth I've wanted since having Henry in 2016. You can read how we planned our home birth here.

We knew we wanted a water birth from the start as it was the one thing I missed with Henry. I had a good water labour but actually gave birth on dry land. So our first step was getting a pool.
We were very generously gifted a mini pool from the Gentle Birth Birthing Pool Hire* and honestly I can't thank Ceri enough for helping make my dreams come true.

So Dexter's home water birth story...

Pick Your Own Fruit Farm - and how to survive it with a toddler - The Ordinary Moments

I always thought Autumn was my favourite season, but since having a kid/s I think I'm a summer convert. I do have two summer babies after all. But oh man, the adventures are what makes the season so damn great. 

I absolutely love spending our weekends as a family exploring new places and trying new things. It helps with my wanderlust for one thing, without having to spend a fortune or leave the country (or renew my passport) and teaches Henry so much. 

Luckily for us, being close to both the city centre and lots of countryside, we have plenty of opportunity for new adventures and repeating old ones from previous years. And this includes our new love for Pick Your Own farms. 

We've already built a little yearly tradition for Pumpkin picking, and now we're developing one for Strawberry picking in the summer too. Last year Henry was just starting to walk and was mainly interested in the straw on the floor. This year, well he wanted to help A LOT!! 

Preparing the home for baby no.2

Review Post*

We are getting over closer to becoming a family of four and I'm not going to lie, it just does not feel quite real yet. Apparently the large watermelon shaped mound under my clothing just isn't enough for my brain to accept that we are actually going to have a second child soon.

That being said, I am thoroughly enjoying getting all the preparation done for baby number two. The organiser in me is thrilled to be able to wash tiny baby clothing, and organise drawers, and clean rooms. I think I was a born nester because I absolutely love it.

However there is much less to do this time around. Our home is already prepared for an active toddler, and realistically a newborn is far less of an issue on your home furnishings than a toddler - how do toddlers make some many crumbs? But we do need to create new space for the new addition, and our home has changed a lot since Henry was a baby, even though it was only two years ago.

So what have we been doing to prepare for our little newbie?

Henry, you're two!!

Two whole years of Henry Gordon Ian.
That's pretty surreal to write down.
But it's been the absolute best two years of my life. I cannot imagine my life without my little guy and my whole world is more complete with you in it.

So Henry, you're two years old!

Farm Play - The Ordinary Moments

It's no secret that we love the farm. I mean we have an annual pass for our local farm.

Henry is a huge fan of a farm and chattering to and about all the animals, in fact it's one of his strengths and something that his nursery mentions all the time. His knowledge of animals is pretty amazing for his age, which I imagine is partly down to all our farm visits!

When we were in Poole last month, we hadn't really planned much for our days, but were given a brochure from the caravan park about local attractions, and included on it was Farmer Palmer's Activity Farm. As it was so close and the weather was on our side, we decided to go over in the morning as it opened and let Henry have a run around. 

40 activities to do with your toddler - an activity jar challenge

Pretty much every parent will tell you that they've had at least a day or two where they've really not known what to do with their kid.
If I'm totally honest, I've had far more of those days than I would like to admit, but entertaining a small person can be really hard work, especially when they have a short attention span, far too much energy, and you're feeling less than your best.

As I'm becoming a SAHM and will be battling the wills of two small people (though admittedly one will be far more controllable than the other) I decided I needed to come up with some ideas of how to keep Henry entertained, and keep myself reasonably sane.

So I scoured the internet for ideas of little things I can do with Henry on a day to day basis. As he's going to be with me solo parenting three days a week in June and four days from July, I wanted to put something together that would mean we would have varied days and weeks.

 And thus the activity jar was born!

Maternity Leave Round Two - what are my plans?

I'm about to start maternity leave for the second time, and I am oh so ready for it.
I won't lie, this pregnancy has been hard, and although I only work part-time, it's been difficult juggling pregnancy, a toddler and a job.

With Henry, I didn't actually start my maternity leave until the day after he was born (a Sunday) and I only had one week of leave prior to his arrival. So not an especially relaxing start to my leave. Of course I wouldn't change any of it for the world, but this time around I've decided to go off a little earlier than 38 weeks. My maternity leave officially starts at 36 weeks so I'm hoping for a good couple of weeks before Baby Boy joins us.
At the same time, Henry is dropping one day of nursery, so only attending two days a week, so although I won't be getting rest and relaxation every day, I will get two days a week to myself, and then some extra time with my little man before my time is split between two!

So what do I plan to do with my maternity leave this time around?

Why I love a caravan holiday, and how to make it work for you

I love travel.
I'd travel all the time if I could.

And that doesn't just mean jetting off to foreign lands in search of golden sands and sunny skies (although they are both very much welcome).

In fact the majority of my previous travels have been city breaks and adventures with lots of history thrown in, think Rome, Florence and Barcelona to name a few.

But with a growing family, we've had to adjust what a holiday looks like. It's less about exploring old ruins and learning history (though we will be coming back to this when everyone is a bit older) and more about fun adventures exploring new places and trying new things.

With Henry still being pretty young, and me expecting our second boy, we've kept with staycations for the last two years, and utilised the good old British staple of a caravan holiday.
And they've been pretty great so far.

Yes we've had to deal with the not-at-all consistent English weather, which included one complete wash out of a holiday last year, but over-all they've been a great adventure and a good way to get Henry used to travel and new places.

Summertime feels less lonely - The Ordinary Moments

Sunny weeks and weekends mean more adventures, and I am so down with this.

I feel like Spring and Summer is so freeing.

I love Autumn and Winter for all the cosy days at home, the comfort food, and Hygge feels, but I also feel closed off and shut away during those darker months, and I think that really affects how I feel in general.

The first signs of blossoms and florals, and semi-consistent sunshine, lift my mood almost instantly. With longer days and better weather, we get out more, and not just as a family. I make the effort to go outside more, visit places, just be outside of our safe haven, and that alone is enough to make me feel like I'm being more productive and less alone.

Because that's the problem with staying in all the time, it gets lonely. Even when you're with other people.

My hopes and fears for breastfeeding the second time around

It's one of those topics that people either love to talk about, or want to stay completely clear of.

And today I'm going to tackle it head on....breastfeeding.

I've breastfed before. In fact, when I was planning life as a family and awaiting Henry's arrival, I didn't really consider any other option.
I was lucky, Henry did take to breastfeeding pretty well, with a little help from the birth centre I gave birth in. He gained weight and seemed to do well. However my main obstacle was me. I had a love/hate relationship with breastfeeding. I loved the bonding, and that I could provide for him by myself, but I was also super uncomfortable and hated the idea of feeding in public. (I've got no issue with feeding in public from others, I just felt really self-conscious and just couldn't shake the associated anxiety). We continued to breastfeed for three months combined with formula, and eventually stopped as my supply slowed down. I was both happy and sad for the end as I'd become more comfortable with breastfeeding, most likely as I was only feeding at night.

So that's my previous journey, and with a second baby on the way, it was only natural to start to think about what we want to do this time.

Again, I want to breastfeed. But this time I feel like I'm more prepared.
Breastfeeding classes are helpful with the facts, but realistically you learn pretty much everything from actually doing it. And I hope that experience will enable me to have a better, longer and more enjoyable time with breastfeeding.

Thoughts on becoming a mum of two

I know this is probably a blog post that has been done about a million times, but aside from loving reading other peoples (particularly, I loved this post from Lyndsey who is expecting a second little girl about a month after me, and this post from Naomi, who is expecting twin girls in May) I find it super cathartic to write some of my thoughts on this blog.

To be honest, I'm already kind of feeling like a mum of two, in the sense that I already feel pretty split between them.
I've talked previously about how much harder this pregnancy has been compared to with Henry, and that has really taken it's toll on my guilt levels. Which in turn has made me worry a little for the future.

How you can save money every month as a family

Collaborative post*

Having a family, starting one, continuing one, and adding to it, all costs money. And that really shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone to be honest.

I knew when we started a family we wouldn't have as much "free" money. Your priorities change and going out for meals every weekend just doesn't seem as important so you don't mind not spending your money there. However almost everything else gets more expensive. Higher household bills, clothing bill, food bill, and then there's entertainment for the small one/s which costs a fair bundle too.

However, usually our earnings don't go up to match our new outgoings, in fact for most people it goes down.

So how can you save some pennies for your family each month?

Am I cut out to be a stay at home mum?

My maternity leave for the second time is looming and although I am very much looking forward to it, I am also slightly daunted by it too.

Because once I start maternity leave, not only will I will waiting for the arrival of my second little boy, which is scary enough as it is - made worse by the fact that with Henry I didn't actually start my maternity leave until the day after he was born, and only had one week of annual leave prior to his arrival. But I'll also be on the road to stay-at-home-motherhood.

I won't be returning to my job after my maternity leave has ended.
Quite simply, it just doesn't make sense financially to return. I'd literally be spending my entire wage to put both boys in nursery so I could work, which just feels like a waste. I do strongly believe that nursery is very beneficial, so Henry will be remaining in nursery, and baby boy will likely be joining him as soon as Henry's three year funding kicks in. But for the most part, I'll be a stay-at-home mum.

Mental health, pregnancy and me

Collaborative post*

Let's talk about mental health.

It's a pretty big and very serious topic, and generally one I stay clear of as I really don't have much experience with mental health issues, and I'm certainly not about to go trying to give advice on a subject that is incredibly personal to each individual.

However I do want to share a little about my mental health journey, because, perhaps, it could help someone else.

Sometimes it sucks that Daddy is the favourite

Once everyone found out we had had Henry, a boy, I got lots of comments about getting myself my very own mama's boy. And this has been further talked about since we discovered we are expecting a second boy.

And to a certain extent Henry is a mama's boy. He is super cuddling and gives plenty of kisses. Plus he does more often than not, actually listen to me when I ask him to do something, or not to do it.

However, Dann is mostly his favourite person (aside from maybe Alfie the dog).

It takes a village to raise a child.... but mine's a really small one

It takes a village to raise a child....

At least it does for some.

The old adage that you need lots of different influences to bring up a well-rounded child, and give them lots of loving family and friends is a rather sweet notion.
And for a lot of people it is probably quite true.
Perhaps by choice, or maybe by coincidence, but they've started a family surrounded by family members and close friends. Sundays are spent with the Grandparents, and Saturdays with xyz friends at soft play. Last minute meetings at work are fine because Auntie A can look after the little ones as she's off work that day anyway, and Great Grandma takes the smallest baby for a morning a week so mama can get a hot cup of coffee and hoover the living room (aka sit and binge on Netflix).

And to be honest, that sounds like perfection.

I honestly would love, and I mean truly love, to have this lifestyle.

And I am slightly jealous of the families that do get this. Not resentful, but maybe a little green eyed. I would hate to be that person who dislikes another just because they were more fortunate, or planned better, than I did.