Surviving month one with a baby and a toddler

A whole month of being parents of two little boys. And it's gone by so so fast. Especially those first two weeks! I know it's a total cliche but kids really do make the days and weeks fly past, and it's a bit of a catch 22. I'm so looking forward to seeing the boys interact together and develop their personalities with each other, but also it's very scary seeing the weeks race by!

So, how have we been coping for the last month?
It sure is a transition going from one to two. And I think one of the biggest challenges is managing the first born, particularly if they're quite excitable. I also think the sleep deprivation plays a big role in the change to your home. We have good days and bad days, but I guess that's parenting for you.

How to train your insta/blog-husband to take photos how you like them

The Insta-Husband.
The man behind the camera.
The guy tirelessly shooting images, usually that look almost entirely the same, but you know, from an ever-so-slightly different angle.
The bloke who helps you bring your grid to life.

Your trainee.

Let's be honest, 90% of us did not marry, or date, or whatever you call it, a photographer.
Dann is not a photographer. In fact before I met him, I'm not sure he ever took photos outside of drunken nights in the pub. However, nowadays, you'll find him with a camera in hand almost as often as it's in mine. And sometimes more!

Surviving pregnancy with a toddler

Probably one of the hardest and most challenging things I've ever had to do is to be a parent whilst pregnant.
In all honesty, this second pregnancy has been a difficult one, with a lot of ups and downs, but having a toddler in tow as well has made it more tricky.

The big thing is, when you have a toddler, you just can't sit and do nothing when you're not feeling your best. Most toddlers don't really care much for if you're tired, throwing up or generally not well; they just want to play and have fun.

Fortunately there is plenty that can be done to ease life for you, and make surviving pregnancy and life with a toddler a bit easier.

How I've fallen back in love with Instagram

Instagram is a funny business.
You either love it, or you hate it.

Personally I love it. It's by far my favourite social media platform, but it is also really hard work.

As a blogger I want to grow my following. No, numbers aren't the be and the end all, but growth is always a good thing to see, and an increase in following and engagement is always going to be good for an influencer who wants to make money from what they out online.

But it's so very easy to fall into the trap of feeling like it isn't worth it when algorithms are making visibility harder, and numbers are dwindling.
And I'll admit, some days I have questioned whether it is worth it.
It's hard seeing people with huge followings uploading any old photo and getting loads of likes, when I spend time curating a feed that I love, for no one to see it.

So I readjusted how I looked at Instagram.

Henry, you're two!!

Two whole years of Henry Gordon Ian.
That's pretty surreal to write down.
But it's been the absolute best two years of my life. I cannot imagine my life without my little guy and my whole world is more complete with you in it.

So Henry, you're two years old!

22 little things you can do as a family to be more eco-friendly

I've been working on this post for the last few weeks compiling as big a list as possible of little things you can do as a family to reduce your impact on the environment.

It's something I've become more and more aware of as I've gotten older, and especially so since having Henry and knowing that I need to teach him how to treat our planet. He's already an avid fan of David Attenborough and his wildlife shows (yes, a very proud parent moment when he pointed at the TV saying David!) and adores all animals, so it really is more and more important that we show him the best ways of leaving a good planet behind for future generations.

I'm not saying we do everything in this list, but we're well on our way to doing a good chunk of it, and making progress with others. And I think that's the important thing, that we're at least trying. Every little steps help a little bit.

Why it's OK to "do it for the gram"

"Doing it for the gram" is usually said with a mixture of laughter and self-consciousness, and I think most people with Instagram, and most definitely Bloggers, have done something purely to get that perfect Instagram photo to share on our grid.

I've certainly done my fair share of things purely to get a shot for my layout. Whether that's buying flowers that I really don't need, making a tea I had zero intention of drinking, or searching out the perfect background for a "from behind candid" shot.
And I know plenty of bloggers that have visited places purely "for the gram". In fact there are entire businesses that are so successful, just because they are "Instagram goals".
And then there's buying props, purely for Instagram photos (and blog photos too in a lot of cases.) I for one, bought a Letterboard just because it would work nicely within my Instagram feed, alongside my 'leg shots' which I take only for my Instagram.

And do you know what, that's all OK.

It's OK to do things, or buy things, and go to places, just because you want to put a photo of it on your Instagram grid.

Summertime feels less lonely - The Ordinary Moments

Sunny weeks and weekends mean more adventures, and I am so down with this.

I feel like Spring and Summer is so freeing.

I love Autumn and Winter for all the cosy days at home, the comfort food, and Hygge feels, but I also feel closed off and shut away during those darker months, and I think that really affects how I feel in general.

The first signs of blossoms and florals, and semi-consistent sunshine, lift my mood almost instantly. With longer days and better weather, we get out more, and not just as a family. I make the effort to go outside more, visit places, just be outside of our safe haven, and that alone is enough to make me feel like I'm being more productive and less alone.

Because that's the problem with staying in all the time, it gets lonely. Even when you're with other people.

My hopes and fears for breastfeeding the second time around

It's one of those topics that people either love to talk about, or want to stay completely clear of.

And today I'm going to tackle it head on....breastfeeding.

I've breastfed before. In fact, when I was planning life as a family and awaiting Henry's arrival, I didn't really consider any other option.
I was lucky, Henry did take to breastfeeding pretty well, with a little help from the birth centre I gave birth in. He gained weight and seemed to do well. However my main obstacle was me. I had a love/hate relationship with breastfeeding. I loved the bonding, and that I could provide for him by myself, but I was also super uncomfortable and hated the idea of feeding in public. (I've got no issue with feeding in public from others, I just felt really self-conscious and just couldn't shake the associated anxiety). We continued to breastfeed for three months combined with formula, and eventually stopped as my supply slowed down. I was both happy and sad for the end as I'd become more comfortable with breastfeeding, most likely as I was only feeding at night.

So that's my previous journey, and with a second baby on the way, it was only natural to start to think about what we want to do this time.

Again, I want to breastfeed. But this time I feel like I'm more prepared.
Breastfeeding classes are helpful with the facts, but realistically you learn pretty much everything from actually doing it. And I hope that experience will enable me to have a better, longer and more enjoyable time with breastfeeding.

Thoughts on becoming a mum of two

I know this is probably a blog post that has been done about a million times, but aside from loving reading other peoples (particularly, I loved this post from Lyndsey who is expecting a second little girl about a month after me, and this post from Naomi, who is expecting twin girls in May) I find it super cathartic to write some of my thoughts on this blog.

To be honest, I'm already kind of feeling like a mum of two, in the sense that I already feel pretty split between them.
I've talked previously about how much harder this pregnancy has been compared to with Henry, and that has really taken it's toll on my guilt levels. Which in turn has made me worry a little for the future.

Why I want to hypnobirth

The minute you find out you're pregnant for the second time - once you've got the OK that everything is going as expected and hoped - you think back to your previous pregnancy, and most importantly, your previous birth experience.

My birth story with Henry was a pretty positive one all round. It wasn't exactly as I had hoped, but it was pretty damn close, and I did it with no intervention and next to no pain relief. I am proud of my birth story and how well I managed to cope.

However there are things that I feel could have been better.

Length of labour being a large part of it.
I know, of course, that you can't predict or change your labours length of time, but I was in labour for a total of about 26 hours, and 11 in active labour at the birth centre. So I'd really like to try and cut down the amount of time away from home this time around.
We also had a bit of back and forth, which although it couldn't be helped at the time, I'd like to avoid if possible.
And I'd really like to have that water birth I'd planned for last time. I did spend time in the pool, but when it came to actually giving birth, it was more a traditional, on a bed, job.

So how am I hoping to help achieve this?

Hypnobirthing.

What to expect from a 4D scan

Review post*

I'm pretty certain the highlights of pregnancy are the scans. 

Aside from eating all the foods you want (within reason of course) and the baby kicks, there isn't a whole lot of other stuff to look forward to as the months go by, until you're ready to meet the new addition. 

But those scans, and seeing your little one, has to be one of the best feelings. I'm not sure much beats that first scan at 12 weeks, but a private 4D scan has to come as a pretty close second. 

We recently went along to Babybond and Ultrasound Direct* in Southampton for their 4D bonding scan, and it was such a great experience to grow that bond with our second baby boy. 

Mental health, pregnancy and me

Collaborative post*

Let's talk about mental health.

It's a pretty big and very serious topic, and generally one I stay clear of as I really don't have much experience with mental health issues, and I'm certainly not about to go trying to give advice on a subject that is incredibly personal to each individual.

However I do want to share a little about my mental health journey, because, perhaps, it could help someone else.

Appreciating days at home

Collaborative post*

Winter is such a tough season.
I mean it's great with Christmas and cosy days at home with lots of home cooked food and cuddles.
But after a while, and after what feels like 267 days of non-stop rain, staying at home can feel like a bit of a drag.

With Spring, finally, sort of, on it's way, we'll be getting out more and more.

But with Spring comes Summer and our imminent new addition. And a newborn means a few more days at home.

Sometimes it sucks that Daddy is the favourite

Once everyone found out we had had Henry, a boy, I got lots of comments about getting myself my very own mama's boy. And this has been further talked about since we discovered we are expecting a second boy.

And to a certain extent Henry is a mama's boy. He is super cuddling and gives plenty of kisses. Plus he does more often than not, actually listen to me when I ask him to do something, or not to do it.

However, Dann is mostly his favourite person (aside from maybe Alfie the dog).

It takes a village to raise a child.... but mine's a really small one

It takes a village to raise a child....

At least it does for some.

The old adage that you need lots of different influences to bring up a well-rounded child, and give them lots of loving family and friends is a rather sweet notion.
And for a lot of people it is probably quite true.
Perhaps by choice, or maybe by coincidence, but they've started a family surrounded by family members and close friends. Sundays are spent with the Grandparents, and Saturdays with xyz friends at soft play. Last minute meetings at work are fine because Auntie A can look after the little ones as she's off work that day anyway, and Great Grandma takes the smallest baby for a morning a week so mama can get a hot cup of coffee and hoover the living room (aka sit and binge on Netflix).

And to be honest, that sounds like perfection.

I honestly would love, and I mean truly love, to have this lifestyle.

And I am slightly jealous of the families that do get this. Not resentful, but maybe a little green eyed. I would hate to be that person who dislikes another just because they were more fortunate, or planned better, than I did.

The start of a Lego obsession: The Ordinary Moments

Dann is our resident geek and that includes a pretty big love of Lego.
I think I've bought Dann a Lego kit of some kind or another for his birthday and Christmas for pretty much the entirety of our ten year relationship.

Of course it goes without saying that since we started a family, Dann has been pretty excited to get everyone involved in Lego. It honestly wouldn't have mattered if we'd had girls either, though we may have had to invest in some other kits, though who doesn't love a bit of construction.

Childcare is bittersweet

We got a letter from nursery the other day to let us know that our childcare fees would be going up in April.
Not really a huge surprise there. Almost all businesses use the new tax year to increase their rates at little to keep them afloat of inflation. It's not ideal but it is a way of life.

However this letter gave me a shock, and put me in a very ranty mood. Our fees are going up by £5.05 per day!!

How motherhood has changed me, for better and for worse

I think we all change so much over our life times. In fact it's kind of inevitable.
You can't remain the same person from your teens, to your twenties, thirties and beyond.
We become more educated, enlightened and in some places more sceptical and rational.

Our life choices and changes impact how we view the world, how we interact with it, and how we move through it.

Understandably, big life changes are going to have bigger impacts.
And one of the biggest changes for any person is becoming a parent.

Of course, there's the whole adjusting to having a small human-being be totally reliant on you for everything which is overwhelming as it is.

But once you've gotten used to actually being a parent (which I'm still not 100% certain I'm there yet!) you realise that your child/kids change you as a person too.

I'm not necessarily saying that they'll change you over night, and you'll go from a party and cocktail lover, to a slipper and nights in on the sofa knitting fanatic (but if that is the case then get those woollens out and enjoy) but they do have an impact. Or at least it has for me.

When sleeping through the night suddenly stops

One thing I really took for granted before I had a child was sleep.

In my younger days, I'd easily do a 40 hours job, and then another 20 hours as a bar supervisor in the evenings, with weekends working from 6pm til 3am. And I'd still function as a normal human being.

Just the thought of all those hours and staying awake that much makes me want to crawl into a duvet cocoon and sleep for 12 hours as a treat to past me.

Then of course I had a baby, and he hasn't been the best of sleepers I have to admit. We spent many, many months co-sleeping (or bed sharing) which I was totally fine with, though as he got older it did become less and less comfortable. In those early days with a newborn, we experienced many sleepless nights. More nights than I can count where I was stood gently swaying to coax him to sleep. And lots of tears of sleep deprivation. And don't even get me started on sleep regression and teething!

However, around the one year old mark, sleep started to change for us.