Our home water birth experience with Dexter

If you'd asked me six months ago what my birth plan was for our second baby, all I could commit to was a water birth, most likely at our local midwife led unit.

However at 34 ish weeks we made the decision to go for a home birth. And this post is probably one of the happiest posts I've written as I got pretty much the perfect birth story, at home, and with that water birth I've wanted since having Henry in 2016. You can read how we planned our home birth here.

We knew we wanted a water birth from the start as it was the one thing I missed with Henry. I had a good water labour but actually gave birth on dry land. So our first step was getting a pool.
We were very generously gifted a mini pool from the Gentle Birth Birthing Pool Hire* and honestly I can't thank Ceri enough for helping make my dreams come true.

So Dexter's home water birth story...

Planning a home birth

During pregnancy there's always the thought at the back of your mind of how exactly you're going to bring a new life into the world. And to be honest, that doesn't change when you have your second. Just this time you have a little more awareness on what can happen, and a little bit of additional faith in your abilities.

My first birth with Henry was at our local Birth Centre and it was near perfect with a water labour, but I didn't quite get the water birth I'd hoped for. So this time I want to try and have that water birth. Alongside this we've decided to have a home birth.

A home birth wasn't really a consideration last time for us. I knew I wanted to go to the Birth Centre from the second I heard about it, and was doubly confirmed when we visited it ahead of giving birth. This time though, when my midwife suggested it we didn't say no.

We then didn't really think too much about it, though it was a background consideration, especially as we have a toddler and limited family in the area. Logically it made more sense to have a home birth especially if I'm in labour over night as it means Henry can just stay in bed until morning, and then go to nursery or his Godparents house, but I was still a little nervous. In my head, one good birth at the Birth Centre, meant I should go back and do it again.

At my 34 week appointment, my Midwife Lucinda reminded me that my next appointment would be in two weeks and we'd be discussing my birth plan, and it dawned on me that I really didn't have much of a plan! Luckily Lucinda is very much a pressure-off midwife but is a clear advocate of birth centres or home births. So I went home, did a bit of research on Pinterest, did a call out for stories from fellow bloggers (I'll link some at the end) and talked to Dann.

And we decided, we want a home birth.

Surviving pregnancy with a toddler

Probably one of the hardest and most challenging things I've ever had to do is to be a parent whilst pregnant.
In all honesty, this second pregnancy has been a difficult one, with a lot of ups and downs, but having a toddler in tow as well has made it more tricky.

The big thing is, when you have a toddler, you just can't sit and do nothing when you're not feeling your best. Most toddlers don't really care much for if you're tired, throwing up or generally not well; they just want to play and have fun.

Fortunately there is plenty that can be done to ease life for you, and make surviving pregnancy and life with a toddler a bit easier.

What's in our just-in-case hospital bag and toddler bag

For our second baby boy, we have a home birth planned, so the bulk of my recent planning has been around ensuring we have everything we need in the house to bring baby boy into the world.
However, that doesn't mean we're off the hook for bag packing!

Ever the organiser, I've packed a normal hospital bag as well, just in case I have to be transferred to hospital.
Hopefully this will be completely unnecessary, but I'd rather pack and not need it, than be unprepared.

I'm also packing a second bag this time, specifically for Henry, so that if I'm in labour during the day he has a bag packed to go to his Godparents house until he can come home again.

Luckily, last time around I packed a pretty good concise hospital bag so I'm pretty much sticking with that as a base, but with a little update, and less in the way of comforts as this is just an emergency bag!

Preparing the home for baby no.2

Review Post*

We are getting over closer to becoming a family of four and I'm not going to lie, it just does not feel quite real yet. Apparently the large watermelon shaped mound under my clothing just isn't enough for my brain to accept that we are actually going to have a second child soon.

That being said, I am thoroughly enjoying getting all the preparation done for baby number two. The organiser in me is thrilled to be able to wash tiny baby clothing, and organise drawers, and clean rooms. I think I was a born nester because I absolutely love it.

However there is much less to do this time around. Our home is already prepared for an active toddler, and realistically a newborn is far less of an issue on your home furnishings than a toddler - how do toddlers make some many crumbs? But we do need to create new space for the new addition, and our home has changed a lot since Henry was a baby, even though it was only two years ago.

So what have we been doing to prepare for our little newbie?

Maternity Leave Round Two - what are my plans?

I'm about to start maternity leave for the second time, and I am oh so ready for it.
I won't lie, this pregnancy has been hard, and although I only work part-time, it's been difficult juggling pregnancy, a toddler and a job.

With Henry, I didn't actually start my maternity leave until the day after he was born (a Sunday) and I only had one week of leave prior to his arrival. So not an especially relaxing start to my leave. Of course I wouldn't change any of it for the world, but this time around I've decided to go off a little earlier than 38 weeks. My maternity leave officially starts at 36 weeks so I'm hoping for a good couple of weeks before Baby Boy joins us.
At the same time, Henry is dropping one day of nursery, so only attending two days a week, so although I won't be getting rest and relaxation every day, I will get two days a week to myself, and then some extra time with my little man before my time is split between two!

So what do I plan to do with my maternity leave this time around?

Gimme all the carbs - my pregnancy cravings

Collaborative Post*

Most women will experience cravings during their pregnancy - for me, that’s currently macaroni cheese and blackcurrant with lemonade! Literally, I could eat Dann's homemade macaroni cheese every night of the week and I'd be one very happy pregnant lady! As for the blackcurrant and lemonade, apparently I'm a fizz girl when it comes to pregnancy, going against the tradition of sweet cravings mean a girl!!

With Henry I only really craved twiglets (during my first and second trimesters) and fizzy apple drinks. Apple Tango still reminds me of being pregnant with Henry.

Many cravings are just due to the whole range of hormonal and biological changes that happen whilst pregnant, but some cravings can be a sign that you’re lacking in some vitamins or nutrients.

Thoughts on becoming a mum of two

I know this is probably a blog post that has been done about a million times, but aside from loving reading other peoples (particularly, I loved this post from Lyndsey who is expecting a second little girl about a month after me, and this post from Naomi, who is expecting twin girls in May) I find it super cathartic to write some of my thoughts on this blog.

To be honest, I'm already kind of feeling like a mum of two, in the sense that I already feel pretty split between them.
I've talked previously about how much harder this pregnancy has been compared to with Henry, and that has really taken it's toll on my guilt levels. Which in turn has made me worry a little for the future.

Why I want to hypnobirth

The minute you find out you're pregnant for the second time - once you've got the OK that everything is going as expected and hoped - you think back to your previous pregnancy, and most importantly, your previous birth experience.

My birth story with Henry was a pretty positive one all round. It wasn't exactly as I had hoped, but it was pretty damn close, and I did it with no intervention and next to no pain relief. I am proud of my birth story and how well I managed to cope.

However there are things that I feel could have been better.

Length of labour being a large part of it.
I know, of course, that you can't predict or change your labours length of time, but I was in labour for a total of about 26 hours, and 11 in active labour at the birth centre. So I'd really like to try and cut down the amount of time away from home this time around.
We also had a bit of back and forth, which although it couldn't be helped at the time, I'd like to avoid if possible.
And I'd really like to have that water birth I'd planned for last time. I did spend time in the pool, but when it came to actually giving birth, it was more a traditional, on a bed, job.

So how am I hoping to help achieve this?

Hypnobirthing.

What to expect from a 4D scan

Review post*

I'm pretty certain the highlights of pregnancy are the scans. 

Aside from eating all the foods you want (within reason of course) and the baby kicks, there isn't a whole lot of other stuff to look forward to as the months go by, until you're ready to meet the new addition. 

But those scans, and seeing your little one, has to be one of the best feelings. I'm not sure much beats that first scan at 12 weeks, but a private 4D scan has to come as a pretty close second. 

We recently went along to Babybond and Ultrasound Direct* in Southampton for their 4D bonding scan, and it was such a great experience to grow that bond with our second baby boy. 

Am I cut out to be a stay at home mum?

My maternity leave for the second time is looming and although I am very much looking forward to it, I am also slightly daunted by it too.

Because once I start maternity leave, not only will I will waiting for the arrival of my second little boy, which is scary enough as it is - made worse by the fact that with Henry I didn't actually start my maternity leave until the day after he was born, and only had one week of annual leave prior to his arrival. But I'll also be on the road to stay-at-home-motherhood.

I won't be returning to my job after my maternity leave has ended.
Quite simply, it just doesn't make sense financially to return. I'd literally be spending my entire wage to put both boys in nursery so I could work, which just feels like a waste. I do strongly believe that nursery is very beneficial, so Henry will be remaining in nursery, and baby boy will likely be joining him as soon as Henry's three year funding kicks in. But for the most part, I'll be a stay-at-home mum.

Mental health, pregnancy and me

Collaborative post*

Let's talk about mental health.

It's a pretty big and very serious topic, and generally one I stay clear of as I really don't have much experience with mental health issues, and I'm certainly not about to go trying to give advice on a subject that is incredibly personal to each individual.

However I do want to share a little about my mental health journey, because, perhaps, it could help someone else.

Creating your own home office

Collaborative post*

I don't know what it is about a home-office, but it just screams uber-professional, totally serious, going to take over the world-ness. But that might just be me.
I find that having a dedicated space for work helps me actually, work, instead of just procrastinating on Pinterest and ASOS. I know that I spend far too much time browsing every other site possible if I'm sat on my laptop on the sofa, or get distracted by Netflix.

Am I done having babies??

There's a few inevitable questions when you announce you're having a baby.

Are you finding out the gender? And if yes, do you have a preference - this is especially true if it's a second baby announcement.

And are you having more babies after this one?

First off, let me get this one out before we make any rash decisions!!

But in all seriousness, am I done having babies?

Our gender reveal and scan with Babybond

This is a review post*

Ever since we found out I was pregnant again, I knew I wanted to find out if we were expecting a boy or a girl. I just knew I couldn't wait until they were born this time, unlike Henry, who we didn't find out until Dann announced it on his arrival into the world.

Since our 12 week NHS scan, we have been counting down the weeks to our 20 week scan, and finally knowing if we're having a girl or a boy.

We honestly didn't mind what, not that it makes any difference anyhow, you get what you're given. But I wanted to experience both ways, and I have to admit, I loved finding out early.

Money-saving Mama - a mini guide to cost saving for baby no.2

This is a collaborative post*

Everyone knows that babies are expensive right?
Well they are initially and then they sort of level out a bit, and then they get a bit expensive again, and you just go through money cycles.

Then you have the GENIUS idea to have a second baby.
Because, you know, it wasn't THAT expensive the first time, so I shouldn't be so bad the second time! Right?

Well with a little planning, it doesn't have to be so bad.

There are places you can save money, with your first, second, third or sixth child.

Becoming seriously outnumbered, and do I really have a gender preference?

This pregnancy we found out the gender of our second little Bee, and we're pretty damn excited. Well I know I am!
And with this, and everyone sort of asking if we are finding out the gender, we've had the inevitable question "are you hoping for a girl this time?"

And for some time I really did think I was hoping for a girl.
One of each is the dream right? A boy and a girl.

When the second trimester isn't all sunshine and rainbows

I'm a few weeks into the second trimester - in fact getting scarily close to the half way mark - and I have to say I was not prepared.

I've done an entire pregnancy. 

I have friends who have done it all too. 

And I believed the rumours that the second pregnancy is easier if your first was uncomplicated. 

It's all lies!! 

The first trimester... The second time around

You know people always say every pregnancy is different. Well I categorically agree!
I'm officially out of the first trimester of this second pregnancy and oh man has it been a journey.

I really truly believed that having "been there and bought the t-shirt" that a second pregnancy wouldn't be all the difficult or surprising.

I was so very wrong.

I'm not sure if this pregnancy is just plain worse, or my memory isn't all that great, or maybe because I was out of work for quite a bit of my first pregnancy I was able to cope better, but the last seven odd weeks have been mildly hellish.

Now I will say now I know I'm very fortunate to be pregnant again, and with not much difficulty, and I by no means have it as hard as some mum's (shout out to the HG mum's because girls I honestly don't know how you do it and you're heroes in my eyes!) But I have struggled. Really struggled.

Maternity Leave isn't all its cracked up to be

Before I had Henry I was so excited to go on maternity leave. I felt massive, I was getting a bad back, shooting pains down my legs when walking, peeing every half an hour and to be honest was getting a little fed up of being in a constant state of uncomfortable.

The stress of finding a new job had been lifted as I had secured a new job after two and a half months out of work part way through my pregnancy, so I felt better about taking time off for the baby and still having enough money to live.

But until you live in maternity leave you don't really get it. It is just that, it is leave from your normal day job. It is not a break. It is not time off. It is not a holiday or relaxing.
I'll be the first to admit that I referred to maternity leave as a break, but I'll now tell anyone that it really is not a break. You'd be delusional to think it is after a week. And it really isn't the relaxed and lovely time off that it is made out to be.