You know people always say every pregnancy is different. Well I categorically agree!
I'm officially out of the first trimester of this second pregnancy and oh man has it been a journey.
I really truly believed that having "been there and bought the t-shirt" that a second pregnancy wouldn't be all the difficult or surprising.
I was so very wrong.
I'm not sure if this pregnancy is just plain worse, or my memory isn't all that great, or maybe because I was out of work for quite a bit of my first pregnancy I was able to cope better, but the last seven odd weeks have been mildly hellish.
Now I will say now I know I'm very fortunate to be pregnant again, and with not much difficulty, and I by no means have it as hard as some mum's (shout out to the HG mum's because girls I honestly don't know how you do it and you're heroes in my eyes!) But I have struggled. Really struggled.
With Henry is was sick a total of two times in my entire pregnancy, and although I did get some nausea, this pregnancy has been about 10x worse. I've felt sick at some point, every single day from six weeks, and have been physically sick at least once a week during that time too. I know I could have had it much worse, but it has been tough, especially when I also have a toddler to take care of too.
I've also been hit with intense fatigue. I've literally gone to bed every night for the last couple of months before 9pm, and quite a few of those nights have been before 8pm. I could honestly hibernate at this point if it were possible.
With this has been a lot of guilt. And I think that has been the biggest difference between my two pregnancies. I didn't feel guilty at all if I was having a bad day and just wanted to nap all day. Or if I wanted crap food for several days in a row.
But I feel like with Henry I've needed to try harder, and when that hasn't been possible (hello eight throwing up sessions in a 24 hours period) I was racked with guilt that I couldn't be a "proper" mum. Luckily Dann has been a total saint the entire pregnancy and has looked after Henry a lot so I could rest and throw up in the loo in peace.
However, despite all the downsides to pregnancy that come with the first trimester, I am eternally grateful that we will get to see Henry be a big brother, which I know he will take to like a duck to water.
Now it's just a waiting game... and yes, this time we are finding out if we're having a boy or a girl, but I'll save that for another day.
